Monday, June 20, 2011

Wo Bu zhi dao.

Its have been a long time since i have been posting in this blog of mine.
Hmm.. an empty blog.. is me and the blank space. its u and me empty blog, share my loneliness, let me write down the words that i not able to talk it with my closest friend. Its is not i dont wanna have a gf but, i think i dont have confident in me and i am not good in this. Afraid of scaring the girls away, Yes, u can call me weak. Falling for someone isnt easy. Thinking about them all day, Eat, Sleep, in the toilet, driving.Its have been been 5-6 years and now. The day has come, the day which makes my brain crazy, my heart running.

Its have been a long time since i been falling for someone. This girl, very special, But I didn't appreciate the chance when i have it.
Met her at a college named INTEC College, I was enrolled in Graphic Design and she was enrolled in Interior Design. Due to family matter i had to end my studies after 3 months. After that, i never meet her again. I dont know what was i thinking that time. It have been a few years.Since 2006? Haha..

http://maxtkg.blogspot.com/2006/05/goodbye-my-lovergoodbye-my-friends.html

Now i was able to meet her again. At first i thought there wont be anything going in me. I met her a few times, out for brunch with her and friends. Everything was going fine until the day. Super GT Femme Fatale 2011.A party with free flow of Beer! Alcohol does weaken my heart and mind.. I was thought it was a normal friends outing, but the more i drink, the more i was attracted to her.

I wish that night have been a longer night or I have a better courage

I dont know how to approach her.. I am not good with this..
This is time when all of this feelings gets together.. Nervous, anxiety.. No confident.
I hate this feeling.. I wanna get close to her, but i am afraid. I dont have any topic to talk with her, my mind is in a chaos mode! Cant focus! Cant Think! What should i do?!!??! I afraid i bored her. Hey Blog, if u think i am taking it too seriously which cause me go in chaos mode. Yes, I am, I am very serious about her.

People said, Chances doesnt come everytime. This might be the chance, I wan to take that chance!! But the other me, have no courage to stand up to her. Awww man. I am such a loser. I dont have a career, I dont have money,.. Maybe i am being too traditional thinker. I dont MATCH her. What am i thinking?!?! ARGH! I really dont know wat to do. Really dont know what to do. I wanna go out have breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner , supper with her. I wanna go to the movies with her, I wanna go dating with her. Hmm.. mayb i think too far? There even not a single stroke of the Ten stroke..

I wanna sms her. But i dont know what to write to her. I dont even know how to start a conversation!! Damn! After the party, i dont dare to sms her, i always keep looking a the FB to see whether she got any status on or comment on the photos on the party nite.. I slide open my phone, click new messages, Insert her phone number, and i just stop there.. then delete.. and again.. delete.. again.. delete.. again.. delete..

After thinking whether to sms from 8-1 o'clock.. Guess what?? I sms her in the evening at 7 o'clock. What a wussy of me.. Zooming up genting and down such brave of me.. but approaching a girl... its another story.. After i sms her at 7 o clock in the evening.. She didnt reply me. Then i start to get in to anxiety mode. keep thinking "What happen?" "Is she sleeping? Due to tiring sunday?" alot of question came to me. It have been a long night. Keep looking at the phone. Pathetic. What should i do?

Oh no.. I dont know how long this feeling will last.. I am going crazy.. I wanna share this with my friends, maybe.. maybe not.. ><
Oh man.. this post if full of "maybe" "i dont know what to do".
After writing this down.. i do feel abit better than keep all this all to myself..

GARY CAO-SHU DAO WU DA YING.

第一次看着你 就为你心动
di yi ci kan zhe ni jiu wei ni xin dong
On our first meeting, you moved my heart

聪明的我 怎能让你走
cong ming de wo zhen neng rang ni zou
If im smart, how could I let you go

第二次看见你 我竟然失控
di er ci kan jian ni wo jing ran shi kong
On our second meeting, I actually lost control

是我的错 请你原谅我
shi wo de cuo qing ni yuan liang wo
Its my fault, please forgive me

第三次看见你 想要告诉你
di san ci kan jian ni xiang yao gao su ni
On our third meeting, I want to tell you

我真的爱你 是真的爱你
wo zhen de ai ni shi zhen de ai ni
I really love you, really love you

第四次看着你 我有些要求
di si ci kan zhe ni wo you xie yao jiu
On our fourth meeting, I have some requests

请你能够 安安静静的聆听
qing ni neng gou an an jing jing de ling ting
I hope you can listen to me, quietly

一.让我保护你
yi. rang wo bao hu ni
One. Let me protect you

二.让我照顾你
er. rang wo zhao gu ni
Two. Let me take care of you

三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
san. suo you de yao qiu bu neng dang zuo you xi
Three. Don't take my request as a game

四.接受这命运
si. jie shou zhe ming yun
Four. Accept this fate

五.永远不分离
wu. yong yuan bu fen li
Five. Don't ever leave me

说你愿意
shuo ni yuan yi
Say 'I do'

那最后一个一定要说你愿意
na zui hou yi ge yi ding yao shuo ni yuan yi
Lastly, you must please say you do

Want be your lover want be your man

我只要你开心多一点
wo zhi yao ni kai xin duo yi dian
I only want you to be happier

我只希望给你多一点
wo zhi xi wang gei ni duo yi dian
I only hope to give you more

Can you be my lover don�t wanna be your friend

给你幸福到永远
gei ni xing fu dao yong yuan
Give you everlasting bliss

给你幸福每一天
gei ni xing fu mei yi tian
Give you bliss everyday

因为我Want be your lover want be your man
ying wei wo
Because I

说你害怕 因为受过伤
shuo ni hai pa ying wei shou guo shang
You are scared, because you've been hurt

不需要害怕 因为我不是他
bu xu yao hai pa ying wei wo bu shi ta
Don't be afraid, because I'm not him

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